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Ending a relationship from a long relationship to a small one hurt as much when you are old or young.

Pain does not have prejudice with it the only job it know is to give hurt where it is created.

The shock

Imagine the shock you get when you are told by someone you love and have been with for a while that it is over and that they are not happy and they feel that they have tried to make it work and they have reach a conclusion that it is not working.

Willing to do whatever

You may find yourself saying or doing things that you would not really do because you feel desperate to win back at any cost your mate even if it means losing your self esteem.

At one moment you may feel that you would sell your soul if only that person would come back and everything can be as it was before.

Emotions up and down

Your emotions may go up and down from feelings of abandonment, sadness, pain in the solar plexus to anger and this may happen within an hour.

Desire to hide

You may feel that you would rather sleep than face reality because it hurts too much to think about.

Every time you think of the good times you had together it hurts and you do not know how to stop the pain.

What to do now

How do you go on from here it may seem that your life is empty without the other.

You did so many things together and went many place, everything you touch brings a memory of the time together.

How to start over

If may feel that it will be difficult to start over or that life is finish without your partner and yes you are right the life you new is finish and a new one begins.

Making a decision

You can hate the decision your partner made and not the person for making their decision.

Blaming the other person because of your choice to stay in the relationship does not help you to get through with your healing if anything it keeps you more connected.

Creating value

Taking the time to create value from your experience can help you to get pass the hurts and allow you to grow.

Getting support from therapy, family and good friends are part of the steps you can take to get through this difficult moment.

Because someone decided not to be with you any longer does not mean that you are not worthy of happiness, it only means not with that person.

How you choose

The only person you can control is you and how you choose to deal with the ending of your relationship can help you by having emotional integrity to the situation.

This means is to not abuse you nor put down the other person for their choice.

Conclusion : Ending a relationship may not be an easy decision for the person who decided to make that choice.

The author grants full reprint rights to this article. You may reprint and electronically distribute this article so long as its contents remain unchanged, and the author’s byline remains in place. Francis is the owner of http://trans-formers.com if you want more information on free relationship advice in your life you can find at:http://www.trans-formers.com/free-relationship-advice.html

If it was your decision to break up, you will probably be attacked by feelings of doubt and maybe cruelty against your ex, (especially if you still have feelings for her), or, if you are the victim, you may feel you have been wronged and feel the universe has ended.

The reality however, given that there is no going back, is that you must learn how deal with it.

Playing the blame game

You will almost certainly feel the need to dissect the past, to try and understand what went wrong, why it went wrong and whose fault it was. The sad truth is that it doesn?t really matter from the point of view that what is done, is done. There is seldom chance to go back and change things.

However, a postmortem does have some benefits. It affords you the opportunity of discovering exactly what did go wrong, and, if the blame lies with you, and in truth some of it must, it gives you the ability to recognize any faults in your own make-up, and how to change and deal with them going forward, so that you don?t carry the same mistakes, or ignore the same warning signs, in your next relationship.

Get Over it

There must of course be a period of reflection. This gives you the opportunity to understand, and to get to know yourself more completely. However, don?t drag it out, the sooner you can get over it, the better. Sadly there is nothing less alluring than a friend who is wallowing in self pity and doubt.

Try to avoid falling into the trap of dwelling on the good things about the relationship, romanticizing them. This only seeks to obscure the real reasons behind the break-up and will delay the ?healing? process.

Physician- Heal Thyself

Only one person can make it right again?..YOU. You are the one who has to live with yourself, and you are the one who will form a new relationship when the time is right. You are the only one who knows why you did what you did, or why or how you contributed to the break-up, so it stands to reason only you can understand and learn.

A Friend in need is a friend indeed

Remember, you still have your friends. A trouble shared is a trouble halved.

It is always good to talk things over with friends, to get an outside perspective on things and to share experiences. Just don?t overdo it. Don?t become the sad little man who could talk of nothing else. Use friendships wisely.

Be a busy bee

The truth of the matter is that is only natural to dwell on things. But in order to avoid becoming unhappy and morose, keep busy. Try and find things to do that will take you mind off your worries, if only for a while. Diversion helps.

Keeping a stiff upper lip

It is really important to keep your dignity, your self esteem. It is all too easy, (especially if your ex has cheated on you), to lose you self-confidence. Be positive. Know that there is nothing wrong with you, that you are still the same person she fell for and that it is her who wanted to try the greener grass. It?s he loss.

Avoid the rebound

It?s very natural to want to hurt your ex, or to simply to seek company and companionship elsewhere. Stop and think. Firstly you won?t be hurting your ex if is she has already decided to end things. It will simply toughen her resolve. Secondly, you are vulnerable, and it is all too easy to start a new relationship for the wrong reasons, a relationship that is ultimately doomed to failure when you recover your composure and find out that you have nothing in common other than a shoulder to cry on. This will lead to hurt to yourself, or to your new partner, when the relationship breaks-up. The very thing you were trying to get over initially.

Put on a brave new face

Breaking-up is tough. The aftermath is tougher still. The doubts, the recriminations, the anger. But, remember, time heals all wounds, so, go out, get busy, indulge your self in your hobbies, reacquaint yourself with your friends, There’s a whole wide world out there waiting for you, and Ms right may be just around the corner.

If you think there’s a chance of getting her back visit http://www.getherbackblueprint.com right now, and read a simple plan of action for getting your love back.

How Can I Get My Ex Back? A Confident Attitude Helps!

Most of us find breakups depressing and confusing, but there’s one thing you need to remember. Just because you go through a breakup, it doesn’t mean the relationship is over forever. Even if you’re feeling lonely and confused, you probably feel ready to get back into the relationship and heal the wounds that have developed. Wondering how to get your ex back? There are a few things you should know about how to behave after a breakup. You’ll learn how not to make things worse, and how to get your ex back and enjoy a happy, fulfilling relationship that’s better than ever.

While it might seem hard to keep your spirits up after your break up, it’s something you need to do. The majority of relationship experts tell us that staying optimistic and remaining confident can do a lot to help you repair the situation. A confident attitude is one important part of answering the question of how to get your ex back.

Stay confident if you’re asking yourself how to get your ex back. Confidence is the key to attracting your ex back to you. Instead of feeling gloomy and depressed, you’ll need to look for ways to stay occupied and keep yourself happy. Even if you’re feeling down, try to put on a smile. It’s amazing how just the action of smiling can make you feel better. You need to show your ex that you’re a strong person who can take care of yourself in a bad situation. It’s important to be able to survive on your own, even when things get rough.

Stay active socially. While you might be focusing on getting your ex back, or thinking about the breakup a lot, you shouldn’t fall off the planet. You’ll want to keep the support of good friends, and show your ex that he or she isn’t the center of your universe. If people appreciate having you around, your ex will see that there’s a reason to do so. You’re a good person that your ex shouldn’t let go of, but he or she might not realize this right away. Staying active and social will help you remain emotionally healthy, and it’ll help your ex notice you all over again.

Take care of yourself, too. That means looking at your appearance and making sure you keep it up, as well as not allowing yourself to skip showers, eat junk, or spend the whole day in front of the TV. While you might feel like doing it, taking care of yourself shows that you’re still important to yourself. It’ll also help you feel more attractive and be more attractive. You’ll have a harder time putting things back together if you let yourself fall apart, which is why it’s a good idea to keep on top of things. Remember, if your relationship is going to be put back together, both of you have to be responsible and willing to work things out. That takes a lot of effort, but it’s worth it in the end.

If you’re committed to getting your ex back, make sure you have an action plan ready to follow. Click Here for a step-by-step plan that anyone can use to rekindle their relationship and get their ex back in their arms….

Breaking up is hard to do ? especially when your marriage is on the line. Research has shown that a marriage breakup can be among the most stressful things a person can experience. And, for many people it can feel just as badly as does going through the death of a loved one.

If you are facing turbulent times in your marriage, you may be headed for a breakup, which could mean separation or divorce. Splitting up may be the best option for the two of you, or it could be the worst possible way to resolve your troubles: who is to say? Only the two of you can work things out. Or, failing that, only the two of you can find a way to split up in the least painful, most amicable way possible.

Here is advice for marriage breakups; these are 5 ways to keep your sanity:

Way #1: Eliminate the blame game when speaking to each other: No matter how angry you both get when the two of you disagree or fight, remember that there is a spark of goodness and light in everyone. Keep in mind that your mate was once the apple of your eye. Looking at him or her now, it may be hard to imagine ever having felt or thought anything positive about them. That is because right now you are likely wrapped in a blanket of negativity where your marriage is concerned. Unfortunately, negativity builds upon itself, especially when you let it come out in the words you exchange with your mate. The best path to healing for you is to eliminate the negativity, the blaming, and the fighting. No matter who is right or wrong, no matter whose fault it is, blaming the other person only hurts you.

Way #2: Help the other person land on their feet: Once you have been married to someone, you will never be able to view them in a completely even, unbiased way again. The two of you are too close and you have been through too much together to ever go back to being mere strangers again. In fact, the two of you will be in some ways linked to each other for the rest of your lives. Psychologists say that people who have been married for a few years or more start to show signs of completing each others? thoughts, as if they share the same mind. That is why a marriage breakup is so painful and crazy-making: you are in some ways actually losing a part of your mind. The bottom line is: treat the other person with respect and dignity no matter where this turbulent time takes you. Look out for that person and make sure they land on their feet. No matter how things might look right now, you will benefit directly if your mate (or ex) comes out of this in as healthy a way as possible.

Way #3: Keep the kids out of it: This one sounds like a no-brainer for those who have never faced a marriage breakup before. But, once in the heat of battle, many people drag the most precious people in their lives ? their own kids ? into the mix. Of course, most people intentionally try to involve their kids in their marriage problems. But, this is exactly what often ends up happening ? and this is the worst mistake you could make. Your kids are innocent bystanders and should remain that way.

Way #4: Find a friend or therapist you can confide in: In today?s cybernetic age of computers and cubicles, many of us live a lonely life. Studies show that close friendships are on the decline in many advanced countries, and people are choosing to have acquaintances but few close friends. Moreover, for many people who are married, their best friend was their mate. So, when faced with a marriage breakup, it will do wonders for you to reconnect with an old friend so that you have someone to talk to about what you are going through. If you are not able to access your old friends, consider hiring a therapist. The point is: you need someone with whom you can share the roller coaster ride of turbulence in your marriage.

Way #5: Consider making things work again: Even when a breakup seem inevitable or has already occurred in your life, it may not be too late to help things work out again between you. If you believe that the spark of love for each other may yet be alive in your hearts, consider doing whatever it takes to get the right advice to make your marriage a successful one again.

When facing a marriage breakup, you need to do whatever you can to keep your sanity. Whether you are headed for a permanent split or whether there is hope that you will stay together, follow these steps to maintain your mental and physical well-being. You will thank yourself later.

Want to give your marriage a second chance? Find out the secrets that can have you back in each others’ arms in no time at: www.in-your-arms-again.com

I have been faced with the need to break up with the love-of-my-life-du-jour more than a few times over the years. However, I suppose the most difficult breakup for me happened about 6 years ago. She was tall, smart, with auburn hair and a beautiful smile. But, the signs were all there and the two of us knew that it just wasn?t going to work out.

There were just too many issues, too many lingering questions, too many doubts - and it had to end. So, one day I simply mustered up the courage to confront her and initiated the breakup. I will spare you the gory details, but suffice to say it ended badly.

Looking back on that fateful day, as I have done many times since then when the memory periodically pops into my head when I least expect it, I have studied what I did right and (much more significantly) what I did wrong.

For the benefit of future generations (and anyone reading this article), I have taken the time to put together some advice for breaking up in terms of what not - under any circumstances - to do. So here they are: the 4 things you must avoid when breaking up with him or her.

Thing to Avoid #1: Being too brutally honest : Sure, we all love honesty. We are told from the moment we can talk (and understand) that we should in all cases tell the truth. Well, I am here to tell you: during a breakup, there is a limit to how honest you should be. Don?t tell her you always hated her poetry. Avoid mentioning that his breath smells like an old shoe. Skip the part about that hottie from the office you had a crush on but never did anything about because you are such a good person. The point is: be honest, sure, but don?t be too honest. Otherwise, you will just be adding insult to injury, the equivalent of saying, ?Don?t let the door slam your backside on the way out.?

Thing to Avoid #2: Do it via e-mail, phone or text message: Breakups are fragile. Breakups are delicate. Breakups require trust and honesty. So, for goodness sake, don?t use electronic communications to do the deed! You have heard of corporations firing people via e-mail or text messages. This is about as low, by my reckoning, as you can go in terms of how you treat another human being while remaining tenuously within the realms of legality. Now, imagine doing the same with a breakup: it just won?t go over well, nor should it. Yes, by doing the electronic thing you may sparing yourself the temporary discomfort of that awkward in-person breakup. But, STILL, c?mon: that is no excuse. Be a man or woman and do the right thing and break up in person.

Thing to Avoid #3: Calling afterward to see how they are doing: Okay, so if you have even a shred of remaining feelings for or goodwill toward your jilted lover, 2 hours (or 2 days or 2 weeks) after the breakup, you may have the overwhelming desire to call them just to see how they are doing. Don?t do it! You will only be forcing that person to have to embarrassingly share that they are in deep pain over your breakup. Or, worse, you may entice the two of you to meet for coffee and then - who knows what else that will lead to - all because it feels good in the short term but may be very bad in the long term. So, don?t call. Let some time pass - lots of time. Let the wounds heal.

Thing to Avoid #4: Ruling out possibility that the relationship could be rekindled: In life, there is never any final confirmation from the heavens that the decisions we have made were the best ones. Sure, they were the best we could do at the time, but later we may get new information (from the world outside or from our own hearts and minds) that changes our perception about what we could or should have done at a key juncture. Indeed , in some cases a breakup may not be the best choice for the two of you after all. Don?t rule out the possibility that staying together ? or making up again ? may be just the thing the doctor ordered.

Clich? or not, breaking up is hard to do. I can?t promise you advice on the right way to do it, but I can tell you with some fair degree of confidence (from my own experience) what NOT to do. So, if you are heading the way of a breakup, here?s to you. All I can say for sure is to be smart and proceed with caution. If you have already broken up or are considering it but think your relationship deserves another chance, hang in there. Do your homework and find out how to make your relationship work. It just might be worth saving!

Want to make up with that special person? Find out the secrets that can have them wanting you back in your arms in no time at: www.in-your-arms-again.com

If you?ve just found out that your boyfriend slept with his ex-wife, you?re probably wondering whether you should leave him or not. And, believe me, nobody would blame you if you did leave him for what he did to you. But, if you are determined to get him back, you may be saying to yourself several times a day, “My boyfriend slept with his ex-wife but I want him back.” Every relationship is different, and so is every heartache. But there are some things you can do to win back his love.

Be Nice, Don’t Nag

This might be obvious to you, but some people think nagging is the best way to get what they want. It?s not! If you are a nagger - someone who constantly complains or acts unpleasantly in order to get one’s way - you are just reminding your boyfriend of things he wants to get away from. If you make things uncomfortable every time you two get together through your actions, he?ll only want to see you less and less. The last thing you want to do is drive him farther away. Be as pleasant as you can whenever he is around.

If you are wondering whether you can win your boyfriend back by pretending to act certain way or be a person you are not, then you should be asking yourself whether it makes sense to get back together at all. You might be better off finding someone who doesn?t make feel like you need to pretend to be someone you are not.

If you can manage to remain pleasant, then whatever problems you had before the breakup probably will not seem nearly as important now. You might even find yourself wondering why you weren?t more pleasant to be around over the past few months.

Of course, you cannot change the past. So, keep that in mind when you face the issue of the fact that he slept with his ex-wife. Let him know that, while he was clearly the one to blame for what he did, you may have been a part of the equation, too. Let him know that you will never take him for granted. He probably took you for granted too, but do not try to force him to admit that at this point.

Some other things you might be thinking of trying to win him back could either be disastrous or could work in your favor include:

Can I win him back if he is regularly sleeping with his ex-wife?

This is probably the hardest situation to overcome. Not only is it difficult to be alone with him if he has been with his ex-wife recently, a little part of him is always going to be focused on her until he is completely over her. In this situation, his past (her) has just become part of his present again - and you have become just slightly less of a priority. Being nice right now is crucial. You have to make him see how wonderful you are and how much he?s missing by not giving you his full attention.

Can I win him back by trickery?

No matter what kind of deception you?re thinking of, even if it doesn?t seem harmful - forget it now. Even the most innocent-seeming lie or exaggeration could backfire on you at a later time. What would be the point of figuring out how to get him back only to lose him a little while later because he finds out about your dishonesty?

Can I win my boyfriend’s love back by making him jealous?

Sure, it is possible, but this tactic, too, could backfire and make him think you have moved on. If you really feel the need to date other men, then do so while keeping in mind the risks inherent in this approach.

If you are seriously considering going out with someone just to make your cheating boyfriend jealous, keep in mind that doing so is not really fair to your new date, or to you. Games like this usually do not work. Be honest with yourself and others and you stand a better chance of winning back his love.

These are just the beginning steps in winning your boyfriend’s love back and getting him to stop cheating on you with his ex wife. These are merely the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly, these aren’t my original ideas. I learned some invaluable insights from some of the top relationship experts around.

Want to win your boyfriend’s love back and get him to stop cheating? Find out the secrets that will have him back in your arms a faithful, loving man by visiting: www.in-his-arms-again.com

To win your ex girlfriend back is to understand women. Problem is most men are clueless when it comes to women and it doesn’t help that women’s favourite pastime is to confuse the hell out of men. Is winning her back going to be as hard as solving a rubix cube? Fortunately, it’s easier than you think and it really comes down to 3 important tips you need in order to win your ex girlfriend back.

Tip #1:

What’s something worse than being the desperate and needy guy who won’t leave his ex girlfriend alone? This might be a shock to you but it’s the one thing that trips guys up without them even realizing. On the surface is seems innocent enough but underneath it could be quietly killing your chances with your girl without you even realizing.

If your ex girlfriend has dumped you, and you try to play the nice guy, eg. Doing things for her, jumping to help her out when she needs or just always been available when she calls, then you need to watch out! It’s a deadly trap that makes you think things are going well because she is calling you up, being around you, acting like everything is fine etc.

You are in fact letting her know that you are fine with being friends and “friends” is looking like a better deal than the being in a relationship. Why would she need to get back together if you’re always there for her anyway? This one will be hard to curb, but its important you do because you’re only damaging yourself in the long-run.

Tip #2:

Resist the desire to shower her with gifts and smother her with romance. Ok, we all know that women love romance and want more than anything in the world for their boyfriends to be sweet and treat them like they’re the most important thing in the world. This is common knowledge and even if your girl isn’t the type, deep down she wouldn’t turn down romance. The problem comes when guys think this route is still plausible AFTER a break up.

It rarely works that way because it’s just a little too late in her eyes. The only thing she’ll be thinking if you do something romantic is you’re only pushed to act if you’re in risk of not getting something you want.

Best to put the flowers and the love notes aside. You need to dig deep and show you’re serious about changing through the way you treat yourself (and her) instead of blinding her with materialistic things and cheesy love quotes.

Tip #3:

Get it into your head you don’t “need” her to complete your life. This comes down to attitude and its this attitude that will make her want you back. Most women are attracted to confident and strong men, but the exact definition of each will differ across women. Don’t try to be someone else, but instead be mindful of the qualities that attracted her to you in the first place.

Aim to make those qualities shine but not only to show off in front of her. Aim to take that with you everywhere you go. If it’s a sense of humour that she loved, make her laugh but make everyone else laugh too. Don’t hold back from other people or other girls.

Be honest and genuine in your actions and good things will come your way.

If you’re serious about getting your ex girlfriend back, make sure to check out this much recommended resource for all men struggling with women in their life (just about every men in the world then!)… Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back now. Remember, time is not on your side and the more you wait, the more indifferent she might feel towards you. Head to http://www.getyourexgirlfriendbacktips.com now.

Getting your ex girlfriend back feels like a daunting task, especially if you’re confused and unsure what direction to go. Somewhere along the road of your blissful relationship, you stumbled upon a roadblock. Then a few more came crashing down and before you knew it, your girlfriend has up and left you, complaining about every bump and obstacle that had come stacked your way.

No one said it would be easy, but that doesn’t mean it needs to be complicated. Simple plans are the most effective but the act of executing them is where people most trip up. So here is the simple stupid plan to getting your ex girlfriend back…

Simple action plan #1:

Snap out of that I’m-the-victim/defeatist attitude that plagues most rejectees after being dumped. Whether it was your fault or her fault that your relationship has ended, get it into you that the past is done and there’s little point in dwelling on what could have been.

Tip: Trying to reverse the break up by compensating through apologizing and promising you’ll change might seem like the most logical and common-sense thing to do. But if she’s standing firm and rejecting all your moves, ditch the poor-me approach; your ex girlfriend wants a man, not a crybaby.

Simple action plan #2:

No matter what she says or what you think she wants, what she REALLY wants is a man who has conviction and confidence within himself. If you find yourself lacking all self-esteem and you’re not sure why she would even come back to you, the conscious part of you wants her back but the unconscious part is fighting against it.

What sort of result do you think you will get? Know that the confident guy who doesn’t need anyone is already within you, bring him out by remembering times in your life when you were confident AND alone and life was just fine!

Simple action plan #3:

You need to align the conscious and the subconscious part of you so it’s helping you get the girl you want instead of pushing her away. If you’re confident and secure in the knowledge that you don’t need her to be happy, not much of what she says should harm or worry you.

For example, your ex girlfriend hasn’t called for weeks, the sad, depressed and needy guy will have cracked and tried calling her to see how she is doing. The confident and secure guy will notice but he is too busy living and enjoying himself via other activities to care about calling. Likewise, the confident guy might also consider the notion that, if he has been too busy to call, perhaps she has been too.

Tip: Alter the meaning of whatever bad thing happens to you, whether its your ex-girlfriend not calling, seeing another guy or only wanting to be friends. If you don’t let those things bother you, and you get on with your life, your ex girlfriend will notice and be extremely curious WHY you’re reacting this way.

Why would acting like you don’t care help you get your ex girlfriend back? Believe it or not, your ex girlfriend wants you to want her. No one likes to be rejected, and even though she has rejected you, deep down she still wants you to want her.

By “rejecting” her but doing it in a subtle way, it will make her want to find out why and get her chasing after you. Believe me this works wonders. Girls love getting attention off guys, they love to know they’re wanted but at the same time untouchable. Use this to your advantage.

If you’re serious about getting your ex girlfriend back and you think you can handle what it takes, head over to Get Her Back now and obtain the step-by-step plan that is changing men’s minds about women from around the world. Remember, time is not on your side and the more you wait, the more indifferent she might feel towards you. Head to http://www.getyourexgirlfriendbacktips.com

If you’re wondering “how can I make my ex girlfriend want me back”, and everything you have tried so far has not worked for you. Here is a trick that will help her want you back again.

This trick might go against everything you thought would work in getting your ex girlfriend back. But really, as simple as this might be, most men screw it up because it is so counter-intuitive. How can you make her to want you back?

All you need to know do is to “reject her”. Mind bogglingly simple right? Concept is otherwise hard to grasp.

What happens when a girl rejects you and says “it’s just not working out” or something along those lines? It means she doesn’t want you anymore and for you to leave her alone right? Being rejected hurts and no one wants to be rejected.

Therefore that means if you reject her (after she has rejected you), technically she shouldn’t care and you both “should” get on with your life but in different directions.

Wrong! Humans are much too complicated for anything that clear cut to happen. Of course there are cases where that has happened (as there are exceptions to every rule).

But the truth is NO ONE likes to be rejected. Even if she has rejected you (as much as I hate using that word over and over again), she doesn’t want to be rejected herself. Now she might act as if she doesn’t care (basically doing what you’re doing), but this won’t last long if she cares for you AT ALL.

If after you reject her and you don’t hear from her for 6 months! Or something ridiculous like that (which believe me, that WON’T happen), then you know it’s over and she didn’t care about you that much to begin with.

However, if she ever cared or loved you at all, she won’t be able to stand the idea of you rejecting her. (Rejecting her = no contact or interest in contacting her). She’ll want to know, as we all would, why you’re behaving the way you are. She’ll want to be validated that she is still desired, because if she isn’t, then what she thought of the relationship wasn’t really want she thought at all!

This last statement will scare her! Scaring her will enable her to act and that means she’ll come chasing after you.

If it’s so simple why doesn’t everyone do this? Because most guys can’t stick with it but oftentimes lots of other variables come into play. Eg. when the opportunity to reunite arises, the guy is usually too stubborn to see it.

Word of warning why this won’t work:

* If you go overboard with the rejection and act as if you’re doing it just for revenge.

* If you are dishonest with her (and yourself) and treat her poorly just to have the upperhand.

* Deliberately ignore her, especially when she most needs you.

* Put too much emphasis on this strategy instead of working on yourself and why the relationship ended in the first place.

Remember this might get her back in the short-term but if you’re not willing to work on staying together, then it’s all quite meaningless.

If you’re serious about getting your ex girlfriend back and would be a proven step-by-step plan to win her back, head to Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back for the ultimate relationship help resource for men.

The relationship went boom. Maybe with a fizzle, maybe with a whimper, maybe with a slammed door…but it went. And now you’re chasing your own self esteem through the crannies of your mind, wondering “What can I do to get him back?”

You find yourself calling. Or IMing, or text messaging. You wonder if he thinks about you at all, and then you start to pity yourself. Maybe you want to make him feel sorry for you, or to take you back and make it all right. Maybe some desperate part of you wishes it would all magically get better, or wishes there were something you could do to bring him back.

If those are the patterns of your thoughts, then no matter how much you want to rekindle or jump start this relationship, and we know it’s what you want - or you wouldn’t be reading this article - it’s not gonna work. You see, those patterns of actions come off as being clingy and smothering and controlling, and just the same way you’d back off if he did them to you, he’s going to run for the hills when you point the “pity me” parade at him.

So focus on the things that work.

Think back to the things that made you attractive to him when you first started dating. Focus on those parts of your life that are yours alone, not some adjunct of couplehood, and above all else - cut him (and yourself) some breathing room. Put a notice on your calendar that you won’t talk to him for a month. You won’t call him, IM him, text message him, whatever. Then spend that month on some serious ‘me’ time.

By doing this, you should spark a change of heart in your ex. Now that he’s not fending off your attempts to me miss hyper-clingy pity party, he’s going to wonder how you’re doing. (And if he doesn’t, you’re better off without him.) He may, in fact, miss you a bit if you do this.

You’re working with human nature - being a clingy sponge is going to drive any man worth having away - think about it in reverse. If he were moping around and listless because you broke up with him, you’d think he was annoying as all get out. Same here - don’t be annoying at him. Get on with your life, grow a spine and let him come back on his own. (Or, alternatively, use this as the time to learn your lessons about relationships, and move on to something better.)

The other major benefit of repairing your relationship by making your own life your own focus is that it stabilizes you if he doesn’t come back. Yeah, we’ve all known people who seem to have no lives - maybe they go home and pet the cat and watch soap operas or something; some are shell shocked from having had a relationship explode on them. Some just decide the whole game isn’t worth it - and these are both realistic appraisals…but your best odds of getting your ex back have nothing to do with him, and everything to do with you and your self esteem and valuation.

Click Here to get more details on what you can do to get your ex boyfriend back and repark the feelings he once had for you. It’s a powerful way to get your ex back and save your relationship!