3 Basic Strategies Men Use to Approach Women, And Why They Don?t Work
Wednesday, January 7th, 2009Think about it. When a man goes out for a night on the town, he doesn?t expect to be approached by women. A woman, on the other hand, can expect to be approached every time she goes out ? and the more attractive she is, the more she can expect to be hit on. As a result, she becomes an expert at rejecting men who aren?t worth her time and effort, and she has a thick line of defenses against the usual tactics these men employ.
The first tactic that men typically use is the look-and-smile routine. They make eye contact with a woman, they smile at her, but they don?t approach her because they don?t want to make a fool of themselves. Women are put off by this tactic because it tells them that the man isn?t interested in anything other than ogling her body, which puts those men in the same category as stalkers and perverted creeps.
The second tactic that men use is the pick-up line. They approach a woman and offer one of the standard compliments about her looks ? you?re beautiful, you?re hot, you look really good in that dress. What he?s really saying is, ?I have a low self-esteem and can?t think of anything intelligent to say to you. Please pay attention to me. If you reject me, I?ll cry.? Ladies who are regularly approached in this way have been known to make a game out of how brutally they can crush a would-be suitor?s hopes.
The third tactic that men use is bribery. They approach a woman and offer to buy her a drink or take her to dinner, which sends the message that (a) he feels obligated to compensate her for paying attention to him or (b) he thinks that the compensation will entitle him to her attention. Neither of these messages encourage a woman to expend any serious effort in the encounter, but in some cases, she may put up with a man just to get free drinks for the evening.
So, if the three tactics actually work counter to their goals, what should a man do if he wants to date beautiful women?
First, check your body language. Women are excellent at reading body language and they can tell when a man is intimidated by their beauty. Therefore, don?t be intimidated. If you appear relaxed and at ease in a lady?s presence, your chances of dating her increase exponentially. Educate yourself by reading a book on body language, then watch the pros at work. Line up a James Bond movie marathon and study how 007 interacts with the ladies. Watch Hitch (2005, Will Smith) and see how the Date Doctor trains his clients. Most importantly, do not be intimidated by a woman?s beauty.
Second, show the object of your interest that you?re a good emotional investment. Women place more emphasis on how someone makes them feel than they do on how that person looks or how much money he has. A woman will date a man who is less attractive and has less money because he makes her feel safe and important on an emotional level. The best way to do this is to be genuinely interested in what she has to say. In return, say just enough to entice her curiosity. Make her want to find out more about you.
Finally, show your lady that it?s not just about sex. Most attractive women assume that when a man approaches her, all they?re interested in is a one-night stand. Change that perception and you increase your chances of dating the lady of your choice. Show her that physical attraction isn?t all there is to your interest, and she?ll start asking herself if you?re interested in her and not just her body. Then she?ll get curious, then she?ll start pursuing you, and then you?ll have succeeded in your seduction.
Ivan Stivenson, author of numerous articles related to relationships and dating, one of his most popular articles is Men in Threesomes